Our Journey to Kathryn Grace- Part 2

So there we were.  It was 4:55 in the morning (because I am a "dedicated" gym partner and was up to work out- ha).  I had neurotically placed my laptop in the bedroom so I could check if we had a file first thing.  Those of you who have waited know exactly why I obsessively had my lap top in close proximity at all times:)  As I opened my laptop I was secretly praying that there was not a file waiting for me.  I really did not think I could run the gamut of finding doctors, growing attached and everything else that goes along with viewing a file.

Sure enough the email was waiting.  I woke Scott so he could look.  Both of us were so frustrated that we had to deal with this file.  We were still reeling from the loss of the last baby.   I cautiously opened the attachment and scrolled down to view her basic information.  It was a girl - "ok".  She was 20 months old- "She is a little older".  She has Beta Thalassemia Major - "On our list but I am not so sure about the major part".   We look at her pictures- "She sure is cute in her little yellow snow suit"!  At this point we were so overwhelmed.  I was in tears.  I just did not know if I could go through this again so soon.  Scott was supposed to be getting up shortly and heading out to California for a conference.  All my military wife readers can relate... Naturally we need to make a major decision when he is on the road!  Praise God he was not deployed and we could actually speak on a telephone:)  I headed out to the gym and Scott got ready for his trip.  When I returned from the gym we had a couple minutes to really look at the file together.  We studied her darling little face.  We spoke a little about what we knew about Beta Thal and thought it was worth pursuing finding out more about this little girl.  We then decided on the next doctors  we needed to engage.  Scott left, I got the boys off to school then started my calls.

  One thing God has made so abundantly clear is that He wants us to make the most  informed decisions possible.  Up to this point, we have had no fewer than 3 doctors reviewing our files!  He did not disappoint this time.  My first stop, as it has been through out this entire process, was to call my sister Shannon.  She has been an absolute blessing through out this entire experience.  I can say with out a doubt we would not be to this point with out her support!  She knew of a couple of docs she could call.  One was a pediatric hematologist she worked with in the Navy and the other was an adult hematologist she worked with at her hospital.  I sent the file to an international adoption doctor at Georgetown University Hospital.  I then spoke with my mother in law Bo.  As we were talking I mentioned that Shannon has said we needed a pediatric hematologist.  She remembered that her friend she works with at the Church book store had a son that was a pediatric hematologist in the Washington DC area.  She called her friend to ask if her son would mind looking at this file.  Bo called me back nearly breathless.  Not only would her friend's son look at the file... He had already HEARD about the file from the International Adoption doctor.  Bo's friend's son WORKED for the IA doctor at Georgetown University Hospital!!!!  God is awesome, isn't He????

 With in a few hours, the reports from the doctors began to roll in.  This was VERY promising.  We learned that more than likely this little girl had Beta Thalassemia Major.  In short, it is a serious anemia that requires monthly blood transfusions and medication that controls iron levels in her blood.  The more we spoke to parents who are living this routine now and spoke with the doctors we realized that her need was completely manageable for our family.  Everything else about this little girl was completely perfect!  Her growth and development was right on target.  We were cautiously optimistic that this was in fact our daughter.  I was beginning to let down the wall I had placed around my heart and started letting this little one in.  Scott and I agreed we still needed to do a little more research and more than anything, we needed to pray and seek His direction.   In fact, I prayed that night that God would speak directly to me so I would have no doubt it was Him.

I went to bed that night and did not sleep at all.  I tossed and turned all night.  I allowed those old familiar lies that Satan likes to play over and over in the middle of the night:  "Her needs are too great.  How will she ever be able to get insurance when she is older?  How on earth are you going to deal with her transfusions every month?  What are you thinking?  You can't be a mom to this girl".

I got up for the gym the next morning to find a text from my partner saying she could not make it.  I got all the way back upstairs to go back to bed when God nudged me back downstairs to have some quiet time with Him.  I had not done even day one of my Bible Study and our leaders meeting was that morning. Every so often our Bible Study has us focus on a verse.  When I opened my study, this is what I read:  "⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" Phillippians 4:6-7


Stay tuned for Part three and more about our Katie Grace....

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