Grief....

It is such a deep emotion wrought with pain, anguish even.  Grief is a process.  It is not an emotion or an experience that just goes away when everything appears "normal".  Almost five months home with our sweet girl and still she grieves.  

It breaks my heart.  It breaks Scott's too.  No one wants to see their baby hurt.  

Just the other morning Scott went in to get Kate up as he heard her fussing in her room.  When he got there and reached in the crib for her, she cowered to the other side not wanting him to come near her.  She was very frightened.  Scott said it was if she woke up and realized she was still here and not "home". 

 He brought her into me to cuddle in bed and she lost it.  She fell apart just sobbing those deep sobs that come right from the gut.  They are thankfully sobs I have never heard or experienced with my boys. 

 They are only sobs I have heard from my daughter.

My duaghter who has lost everything she ever knew - twice.  

All we can do is hold, rock and let her grieve.  Oh how I pray that the healing balm that is Jesus Christ would pour into the deep wounds that are engraved in the heart of my child.  He has come to heal the broken hearted.  Kate's heart has been broken by abandonment multiple times.  Her wounds are real and they run deep.

  "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.  He counts the number of the stars; He counts them all by name.  Great is our Lord and Mighty in Power; His understanding in infinite.  The Lord lifts up the humble".  Psalm 147:3-5 

This is what He promises our sweet Kate.  That promise is for her but it is also for any of us that grieve, whose hearts are broken.  He knows us by NAME.  He knit us together in our mother's womb.  He was there before time began and will be there when the world ceases to exist.  He is the creator of the universe.  He has the power to heal and to make beauty from ashes...  If we let Him. 

Out of these ashes... beauty will riseand we will dance among the ruinsWe will see Him with our own eyesOut of these ashes... beauty will riseFor we know, joy is coming in the morning...in the morning, beauty will rise
Stephen Curtis Chapman

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