This wait for LOA has been the hardest on me yet. Today we sit at 61 LONG days of waiting. LOA stands for Letter of Acceptance. It is China formally saying that Kathryn is ours. They must translate and review our dossier and make sure we are acceptable. I have to be honest, lingering in the back of my head is the fear that we will not "make the cut". What if they do not like the medication I take? What if they do not think we look the part? This is totally irrational. Before we spent dime one on this adoption, we cleared our eligibility with "the powers that be". I KNOW we are fine... in my head. Waiting is just so hard. I cannot help but think the longer we wait the longer she waits: The longer she is in an orphanage. The longer she is not receiving her medical care in the United States. The more milestones pass that we do not get to celebrate with her. I won't lie... I want her home now.
As I was driving Andrew to school this morning a familiar song came on the radio. I have heard it hundreds of times and have always loved it. I have even declared it my adoption theme song. Today, on day 61 of our LOA wait the words washed fresh over me:
While I'm Waiting...
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord
More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/while_im_waiting_lyrics_john_waller.html
All about John Waller: http://www.musictory.com/music/John+Waller
So I wait. And while I wait I serve Him and worship Him and am obedient to Him. I may not understand WHY God chooses to move in the way that He does. BUT, I do know that MY God is faithful. I know MY God is sovereign. I know MY God loves me. I know MY God loves my daughter. His timing will be perfect.
Our Family
ANDREW
18
KEVIN
15
SAM
14
KATHRYN LI AN GRACE
5
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8 comments:
And NEVER forget that God is still in the miracle business!! (I am doing Believing God!) He is still in the business of healing (he can heal KATE!) and He is still in the business of delighting in our hearts desires. He LOVES your obedience!
praying that LOA comes by the weeks end!
From one waiting mama to another -
HUGS!
Sara
Kelly, we pray with you. Frustrations may abound, but I pray for a sense of peace and calm as you continue to prepare for Kathryn Grace's arrival. Love ya! Renee Crane
For every moment you wait, you move a moment closer. Peace be with you, Kelly.
Thanks for reminding me of that song. I needed to hear it. I know God is in complete control, but it's still hard. We are also on Day 61 of waiting for our LOA so you are not alone my friend.
Dana (chinapromise on RQ)
www.themostimportantthings.wordpress.com
That was my favorite song while we were waiting for our daughter. I hope you get your LOA soon. I know it is hard because we waited for 3 years for our referral, but once you have a picture of your little one, waiting becomes even more difficult.
I came over from RQ. I have walked in your shoes, 2x of our 3 adoptions with LONG LOA waits. It's hard. With our son who came home in 2009, I clung to this song- our LOA took 189 days, 6 months that my son spent waiting for his mama and daddy to come. My heart ached so much, but God's timing was different than mine and I am thankful that when I finally held my son, 9 months after his referral for the first time, God was faithful. There is an amazing God story of our journey that includes a beautiful little girl who came home then and our daughter who is waiting now... Perfect timing, not my timing, but his.
This time, in my heart I hoped that we would be quick, things would move along and our tiny girl would come home soon. Once again, I have wrestled as we waited... 95 days to LOA which we finally got last Friday. I'm sad for the missed months but I am trusting that His timing is going to be perfect once again! Praying for you , His perfect timing!
Gayly
www.quilt-n-mama (dot) blogspot (dot) com
It takes such determination of faith to stay strong during this wait. Thank you for posting the song. What a great reminder that while we wait (day 38 for us) we can worship Him.
Visiting from RQ (sweetgirls), I love this song too and think of it often during this wait! We are anxiously awaiting our referral. I sometimes wish I was with BAAS too because they are some very sweet heart babies on their list that I'd love to scoop up! :) Praying your LOA comes quickly and you are with Kate soon!!
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